WHAT IF…

What if?

What if I had the ability to rewind the time?

Would you go back with me to the beginning? To the beginning when everything was still okay, where the love between you and I was only the start of a beautiful promise.

Would you start over with me and relive all the moments we ever spend together. Would you guard this fragile heart again with yours? Would you commit to this freaky, but true relationship again?

What if time had another choice, another outcome for us? What if we didn’t have to rush things? What if we could have stayed on this journey of ours forever, until our last breaths?

That is just the thing isn’t it? You beat me to it.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful, but cold Saturday morning. I was on my way to pick you up for our breakfast date. I remember I listened to the song “I love that girl” by Green River Ordinance on my way to you. I remember the happiness that I felt, the utter joy of seeing you again and calling you mine.

You got into my car and we set off towards our favorite restaurant while jamming on Justin Bieber and One Direction songs. I remember just staring at you and telling myself I never want to mess this up. I never wanted to mess up the opportunity to get lost in your smile or to see the stars glimmer in your eyes. I never wanted to mess up the opportunity to feel the touch of your hand on my cheeks. I never wanted to watch you go, but the damn fool didn’t give me a choice.

I barely saw him coming.

I remember seeing bright lights and hearing the horrifying sound of your scream that filled my ears. I glanced at you right at the last second as if trying to capture this last moment, this last picture of you, before making the choice that changed my life forever.

At the last moment, I swung the car around, trying to force the issue. I wanted him to hit our car on my side in order to protect you. I wanted to protect you!

But… the tires gripped too much, not allowing the car to drift – instead overturning the car and the rest is inevitable…

I wish…

I wish it was me.

I wish it was me.

Your body remained lifeless in the car after the hit. I screamed at you to open your eyes, but you wouldn’t listen – but how could you? How could you even if you badly wanted to.

I remember seeing the other driver stumbling out of his car. He had the fresh smell of alcohol on him. I remember screaming at him and eventually almost punching him to death… luckily some nearby witnesses pulled me off, otherwise, my story would have ended there and then. Back then I truly believed it did.

What if I had the ability to rewind the time?

Would you start over with me and relive all the moments we ever spend together. Would you guard this frigate heart again with yours? Would you commit to this freaky, but true relationship again?

What if time had another choice, another outcome for us? What if we didn’t have to rush things? What if we could have stayed on this journey of ours forever, until our last breaths?

What if we weren’t such in a hurry that night? Maybe you would still be breathing next to me.

What if you knew what was going to happen? Would you still climb in the car with me?

What if that man hadn’t decided to drink that night? Maybe we could have chased the promise that we made – the promise of forever.

What if I told you I loved you?

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